I’m Anonymous — Forgive Me?
Seidman
I’m constantly surprised by what I find on the Internet. Recently, a Web site caught my eye because it’s about a topic that interests me: the power of apologies. The site, Apology Center, enables visitors to post stories about things they have done wrong and then seek forgiveness from the online community. Visitors vote on whether the person should be forgiven or not. The site — which PC Magazine named one of “The Top 100 Web sites of 2009″ — led blogger and business-ethics speaker Lauren Bloom to ask: “The Apology Center is fun, but is it effective?”
My answer? No, it isn’t. While Apology Center does get its participants to think about their behavior in a new way — to acknowledge their actions may have done harm to others — and enlightens and teaches people what they should be apologizing for, it doesn’t represent the “HOW” of an apology. A true apology, in the simplest terms, goes all the way.
The problem with the Apology Center is that the apology submissions are anonymous. In fact, Apology Center encourages people to use fake names and emails. In my view, the anonymity strips the apology of its power.
Why? It doesn’t give people an opportunity to make the apology transparent, genuine or authentic because it is incomplete.
Apologizing, when done effectively, is inherently risky because by apologizing, we not only accept responsibility but also cede power to the wronged party. We place in their hands the decision of whether or not to forgive. Apologizing requires willful vulnerability; by contrast, anonymity protects and shields this exposure.
In business, smart companies apologize not just because it’s the right thing to do, but to rebuild the trust with their customers that is essential for long-term relationships and sustained success. Some well-known examples: Skype showing remorse over a major service failure; JetBlue acknowledging its failures head on after storm-ridden delays; Johnson & Johnson’s handling of the Tylenol crisis in the ‘80s. These companies embraced to the idea of being actively transparent with those to whom we are connected, and I believe strengthened those connections as a result.
So while the Apology Center is providing a service in some regard, real apologies connect us to others — and therefore, they can’t be done anonymously.
Last 5 posts by Dov Seidman
• Why We Can't 'Motivate' Engagement - August 19th, 2010
• The Economy: Don't Hit the Reset Button - May 19th, 2010
• Is There 'Honest Tea' on Wall Street? - May 14th, 2010
• Inspirational Shame in the Era of Behavior - April 14th, 2010
• Philosophy Is Back in Business - January 13th, 2010
